How Does Premarital Counseling Work?

Once you decide to marry, you need to discuss, among all things- your sexual goals and sexual expectations.
Sex is not only an essential but the most beautiful part of an alliance. And hence when you start this journey, you should leave behind the wrong and preconceived ideas about sex.
It’s nowhere near whatever is portrayed in most Hollywood flicks. And it’s far away from the way it’s depicted in porno movies.
Sex is an experience that involves gratification for both partners.
What are the facts, common problems encountered, and the solution?
Here are some of the myths and facts-
1-Sex is not only about penile penetration, although it’s an essential part of the process.
2-Lasting longer does not guarantee contented sex. The world average for actual penile penetration is not more than five minutes. The scenario you see in porno movies- the man, lasting for hours- does not exist.
A man lasting for more than the average time might leave a woman high and dry.
And the one lasting for a minute could leave a woman fully satisfied if he knows the nuances of sex.
3- The long penis does not guarantee more satisfactory sex. The average vaginal length is 3 to 6 inches. And the most sensitive part of vaginal anatomy- the clitoris- is hardly deep. A very long penis is a discomfort for a woman.
4- Man has the disadvantage of having a refractory period in two orgasms that could last for 30 minutes to several hours. Meaning thereby after reaching climax, he has to wait for another erection. He is incapable of penetration during this period. While, a woman is capable of getting multiple serial orgasms without any waiting period.
5- More often than not, the penis fails to rub the clitoris because, in every woman the position of the clitoris varies. In this scenario lasting any length of time is not going to help.
6- The penis and clitoris are not the only erogenous zones. It could be breasts, nipples, inner thighs, lips, or ear lobules. Try to identify this zone in your partner.
7- Foreplay and after-play are the two most important stages of sexual experience.

Having understood this much of the basics, we can now move further, step by step.
1) The first night after the marriage is always heavily touted as the most important night. In India, it has a celebratory value. In the western world, things are different.
Penile intercourse- should be avoided on this night. Both the partners should spend this privacy on understanding each other.
The couple should speak to each other, try and develop a bond, fondle each other, and know the erroneous zones.
Once you go past this phase, then you can indulge in foreplay.
A man can ask his partner to lead his finger to her clitoris. A gentle rubbing for one minute can give her a full-blown orgasm.
Similarly, a woman can masturbate her man to orgasm.
By not resorting to intercourse on the first night, you are helping yourselves on two counts.
a) You are taking away the shin of an extra high sensitivity that might abort your first attempt at sex.
b) Man will not end up- getting premature ejaculation leaving the woman completely unsatisfied.
I have encountered many patients whose genesis of premature ejaculation (PME) lay in that first night. That one failure haunts them every time they try to have sex.
2) Wear a condom. That might take away a little fizz but won’t make the things messy, and it takes away a little bit of sensitivity.
3) Two common complaints we come across are-
a) Situational erectile dysfunction- Where a man gets an erection with one partner:; while miserably fails with another.
b) premature ejaculation.

For both conditions, the most common cause is over-excitability.
Sexual counseling works magic if both the partners are willing and cooperative.
Your counselor can make things easier for you.